Ham

The ultra-rich enclave of Ham, a few miles north of Surbiton, never fails to deliver surprises. Inside a small area of square mile or so, one finds a concentration of elaborate but tightly packed mansions, which suggests that they prefer to live as close together as possible, rather than opting for an even larger pile in the surrounding areas, where they would be forced to live amongst the awful middle classes. In the midst of the mansions is the Polo club, which holds matches every Sunday (it's on the 'to do' list...).

And if you sit on the top deck of the bus you can occasionally see over the large walls and hedges into the private world of the aristocracy. Yesterday, there was evidence of Edward Scissorhands having been let loose in Ham. One backyard boasted three large topiary elephants - a father, mother and, yes, a baby, perfectly formed in lush green. The tallest one must have been 2-3 metres high. What's more, they looked well-established, and not placed for a birthday party or other special occasion. I'm sure they make quite the talking point at apres-polo functions.

Iceland

As if the Icelanders haven't caused us enough trouble. First their economy collapsed through unbelievably dodgy bank borrowing. Then they promised to pay back the Icesave money to British and Dutch account holders, only to change their mind at a referendum. Now their revenge has extended to the outlandish measure of inflicting their volcanic ash upon us and wrecking our holidays. Not that we have seen any sign of the ash. In London, the skies are blue and the warm weather means sunscreen and barbeques.

And the Icelanders' volcano may yet have an impact on the election. The Londoners residing near Heathrow have been amongst the most angry voters of recent elections. They have switched support from Labour to the Tories in recent years, voting in Mayor Johnson on the back of resentment about crime, transport and the rest. But these voters are now basking in sunshine in their backyards, the skies free of deafening noise and avgas pollution. With their anger dissipating, who knows what might happen to the Conservative vote. Another few seats to the Liberal Democrats, perhaps?

Elections

The national election has been called for May 6 and the candidates are already underwhelming us with their pitches. Cameron says he's standing on behalf of 'the great ignored', although this would have been more accurate if he called them 'the great ignorant'. Brown is putting forward some entirely forgettable promises, which I've since forgotten. And all of us are wondering if we can survive what is likely to be the excessive use of the phrase 'game changer' by journalists.

The most likely outcome is, of course, a Conservative victory by 20-odd seats. But they do have to get a massive swing and overcome the distribution of voters in seats which is horribly biased against them. For anyone interested in the progress of the campaign, the Guardian has a 'poll of polls' interactive page, which is very helpful: http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/interactive/2010/apr/06/general-election-2010-polling