Frozen Mix

‘Frozen mix’, also known as ‘wintery mix’, is not a mixture of frozen berries and ice cream. It is, in fact, a hideous weather phenomenon that occurs once or twice each winter in Manchester.

Frozen mix is a combination of frozen precipitation: snow, freezing rain, hail, and sleet, in any combination but all falling at once. It is not quite biblical, apocalyptic weather, but it is truly disturbing. There is something sinister about frozen mix, most likely because it is scarcely believable.

It is best not to go out during frozen mix. When it fell last week the frozen material came down in torrents, swirling around in brutal fashion, battering the cars and coating the ground. But the ice melted soon after as sleet wet everything in sight. But then, shortly afterwards, another burst of freezing rain and snow.

I wanted to get a picture of it, but there was no way I was going outside in it. And it seems nothing is available on the internet. This is not surprising, as no idiot has ever gone out during frozen mix. It remains unphotographed and undocumented, a visitation of Satan upon the Earth. All residents of the UK remain safely inside during frozen mix, steadfastly and determinedly ignoring it by fixing our eyes and lobotomised minds on the 'tele', on endless hours of documentaries about The Trees That Made Britain and overweight teenagers. Terrible weather, what? Put the kettle on, love!