Darts

If it’s winter in the UK, it’s time for darts on television. The British haven’t been doing very well at sport lately and they feel terribly anxious about it. So, to compensate, they praise sports which they are good at and pretend that no-one else cares about them. Darts. Currently, the World Darts Championship is screening on BBC1 for around 5 hours a day. Yes, I said ‘world’. And it’s true – people come from far and wide to compete, from exotic locations such as Stockport, Gateshead, and Hull.

Darts – apparently – is a ‘sport’, a sport for obese, alcoholic, tattooed, ex-cons (for the female contests, simply add a mullet). Although, the audience is even more entertaining. The tournament is played in something like an RSL club, with the punters indulging in heavy drinking throughout the competition. They’re a boisterous bunch, and fair enough. You have to do something to get some entertainment from darts. To liven things up, the television coverage includes a camera in the board and even super-slow motion shots of the darts spinning majestically towards the triple twenty. Best of all is the guy who calls the scores, exaggerating the middle syllable the higher the score – ‘one hundred and foooooooorrrrrrrrrty’.

For a taste of the excitement, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDYJYzj4PMk

But if you think darts raises the blood pressure to dangerous levels, the snooker is only just around the corner…